I recently read an article about President George W. “Dubya” Bush and his nicknames for various staffers, political figures and even reporters. It posed the theory that Bush’s practice stemmed from his time at Yale and his association with Skull and Bones, a secret society in which every member had a nickname.

It is one thing to have nicknames in college. I had a few, including Crash, for my athletic inabilities. It is entirely another to have them in the real, adult world and I applaud this concept!

From George Herman “Babe” Ruth to Michael “Air” Jordan, athletes often have cool sobriquets. Whether they are legitimately earned or slick marketing gimmicks, sports are flooded with interesting monikers like The Big Hurt, Big Papi, The Dominator and Sid the Kid. Other fields of entertainment have their share of nicknames, too. My favorite all-time has to be Mel “The Velvet Fog” Torme. More recent dubbings include J-Lo, Sting and The Rock (although his pseudonym stems from his origins in pro wrestling). But the business world is different.

Oh sure, there is The Donald, but not much else. Why not? Do these people feel their integrity would be impugned by a nickname? I think it would give this people a little extra flair (to go along with their millions). I think it would be cool if business people adopted nicknames. I’d love to see “Battleship” Bill Gates or Warren “The Bull” Buffett. Anyone could be a boring, stuffed-shirt millionaire, but give me Sam “Mad Dog” Zell or Ted “The Anvil” Turner and I take notice. I think it would increase their likability and marketability.

Here at GT, one of our route manager is Scraps DiMera. Many of his long-time friends do not even know that his given name is Anthony. He is “Scraps” to everyone, personally and professionally. Through all of my years in business, I cannot think of anyone other than Scraps who used a nickname professionally. It is too bad. It would be a more colorful world. This isn’t just lip service to fill my weekly blog space. I back up my words with actions.

-Johnny “4 Cokes” Wroblewski, distribution specialist